lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
