.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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