you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
