morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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