shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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