he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
