i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
