you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
