have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
