I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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