Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
