According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
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I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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