the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Boobs speak an international language.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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