i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize