So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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