I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize