i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize