she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
