We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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