And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
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She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
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Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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