Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
