My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
