I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
