My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
