god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Sext me about skeletons
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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