just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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