this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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