Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
