whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Come on in and take your pants off
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