I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
