I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
