Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
