she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
