butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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