Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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