its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize