Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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