absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
