Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
