i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
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