it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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