SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
