I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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