He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
