What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize