Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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