My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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