with your own penis?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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