Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
