Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
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