It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
