oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
