he thought i was a dude.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize