He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
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You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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