You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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