ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
