I'm drive I can fine osifer
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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