pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
two words...techno handjob
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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