I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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