We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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