he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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