You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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