we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
