wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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