no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
