Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize