I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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