the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
