I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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