remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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