Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
