The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize