what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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